2012

This year I left uni, moved to places I'd never been to before, made new friends, lost a number of old ones, hurt, cried, was reborn through many a metamorphosis. This year took with it many things and many people, through change, or sadly through death. Through it all, I have learned that though nothing lasts forever, good things eventually materialize.

Blessed to have amazing people in my life, people that love me more than I love myself. There are no regrets this day, just lessons, or mistakes that shall not be repeated. I have made my peace with this year, God knows a time like this last year I was fretting about how this year would turn out. I'm however not worried about 2013, I have been preserved, so no matter what, I'll thrive. To my friends and family, I bless God for all of you. RIP Herman, and everyone who passed away this year, you shall never be forgotten.
May 2013 see us attain our highest potential.

Goodbye propensity

I have found writing to be therapeutic when I have things I need to say but don't know how to voice. One thing I've learned is that pain shut in is a poison that kills, a wound that festers and slowly kills you. I hate it when I open up and let the world see my vulnerability, I feel like a city without walls encouraging plunder. 

But whilst a physician may not heal himself, a creative does so by creating. Thus I will find solace in my words...... I have pain shut in that needs to find release, worries that bog me down, memories that haunt me. I am a troubled soul wandering aimlessly, my compass long lost, with only my voices for companionship. I have yelled and I have whispered, I have professed and I have decreed, all of it has amounted to naught. 

Why can't I contain myself? Why? I feel like a hazard to myself, my arch nemesis is my heart, always holding on to doves that want to fly, to eagles meant for the sky. This is not a wail, no, neither is it a lament, this is a dirge for that part of me that needs to die. My voices agree, it is time my need for affection is laid to rest, or it will paralyze the rest of me. So sing with me, sing in hedonistic harmony, my deceitful heart is dead goodbye propensity.

PS: Alot of my posts are 'whiny'...blame the lemons life keeps handing me... 

Kibali

I hate this place I'm at

Woke up today and realized something's gotta give,
because it's evident I've forgotten to live,
much more is required when plenty you receive,
and my heart I can no longer deceive,
I'm clearly in need of reprieve when memories expunged I constantly try to retrieve...

I'm craving mercy but they think I'm foolish,
I'm craving love but they think I'm selfish,
I'm craving purpose but they think I should relish,
attention that's fleeting and praises that diminish.......

I am not wrong for wanting more,
Even the sea wanders and comes back to the shore,
I am not crazy for wanting a door,
To open wide and take me to the happy place I inhabited before......
my soul needs healing, my heart lacks feeling,
my layers and mask need peeling, before I'm brought to the place of kneeling,
I hate this place I'm at, my life burned to ashes and at the hearth I sat,
Now I have become depression's doormat, when I promised myself I'm done with that,
I hate this place I'm at.

Kibali

The beauty of You

The beauty of God is that you can't figure Him out,

The beauty of breath is that it you can't be without,

The beauty of poetry is not knowing how it will turn out,

The beauty of rules is that some you can flout,

The beauty of simplicity; simply is,

The beauty of health is no dis-ease,

The beauty of love is being her's of his'

The beauty of you is being the demon I don't have to appease.

it's simply your way,

being genuine in how you potray,

Everything you think, you say,

It's not deliberate but you allay,

The fear I have of offending,

The loathe I have of pretending,

to be something else with the aim of spending,

time with someone who thrives on my will bending

I don't know how we ebb and flow,

But it's clear for us to grow,

To a place beyond tomorrow,

a chance of us being together away we needed to throw,

Now we're like a river flowing free,

Cutting through terrain easliy,

To the ocean it heads whether clean or murky,

New droplets of rain joining unsure how they'll mix with the sea's saltiness but trusting this pre-determined journey

All I'm trying to say is I appreciate,

That when I hurt you you retaliate,

And if you hurt me an apology you expediate,

And when we've dealt with it the awkwardness we obliterate.

There's no longer need to propagate,

Lies to each other to satiate,

Unnecessary feelings that aim to confiscate,

The place of friendship... lusty love seeks to obfuscate.

For the beauty of life is that you can't figure it out,

The beauty of breath is that it you can't be without,

The beauty of poetry is not knowing how it will turn out,

The beauty of rules are that some you can flout,

The beauty of simplicity; simply is,

The beauty of health is no disease,

The beauty of love is being her's of his'

But the beauty of you is being the demon I don't have to appease.

Kibali

ZeroByZawadi's Online Video launch

ZeroByZawadi will on Saturday September 29, 2012 from 3:00-7:00pm, in Nairobi, Kenya, launch a video dedicated to the late Wangari Maathai who had passion for the conservation of environment.  The video is directed and produced by Laura Rwiliriza.

ZeroByZawadi is an African Yoga-Inspired Social Enterprise, founded by Zawadi Nyong’o, who believes that “At Zero, Anything Is Possible.”  This video tells the story behind the inspiration for ZeroByZawadi. This unique social enterprise brings Zawadi’s creativity, spirituality, feminism, passion for social justice, and love for Africa together.

The signature ZeroByZawadi product is a khanga yoga mat bag, which was first introduced in Oakland, California in December, 2011. That was where the ZeroByZawadi journey began, and has since grown to include khanga covered journals and gift bags made from recycled newspaper. In addition to products, this enterprise is committed to creating and promoting AfroZen spaces & events that celebrate self-expression and MindBodySpirit balance through various creative forms which is a vital component of the wellness of a human being.

In addition to the screening of the short video, the event will include a free yoga class led by teachers from the Holistic Community Kenya, AfroZenMusic performances by Kenyan musicians, and a virtual AfroZenMusic jam session led by Gran Master Masese, who is famous for his Obokano.  The entire event will be live streamed by Alcove Media Kenya to ensure everyone can participate and enjoy the AfroZen vibe.

There are a few tickets to give away through social media; @ZeroByZawadi and #ZeroByZawadi on twitter and through “Zero By Zawadi” Facebook page for the actual event which will take place in Spring Valley, Nairobi. Join ZeroByZawadi online and watch the video and event live this Saturday via https://www.facebook.com/events/184783471657635/.

Contact: Kibali Moreithi                                                                    or        Dorothy Nyong’o

Tel: 0708 245567                                                                                         0733 967660                                                                                    

Email: zerobyzawadi@gmail.com                                                               

Website: http://zerobyzawadi.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZeroByZawadi

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ZeroByZawadi

 

P. O. Box 15730- 00100

Nairobi, Kenya

Tel:  +254 20 216 4390

@7thsensecomms

7th Sense Communications

Winner of Public Relations Society of Kenya (PRSK) - Media Relations Campaign of the Year 2011

Visiting address:

80 Cedar Close, off Camphor Rd

New Runda, Nairobi

 

Eventually (part two)

Sometimes all you can do is try; hope, trust that you'll figure it out. From the source, raindrops become a river that just flows, whether the scorching sun will carry it up yonder via evaporation, or whether it will snake its way to the sea, it nonetheless flows. Keep going, you'll be a step closer to your destination with every move you make. Titi la nyati halikamuliwi kwa staha chambilecho wahenga, and it’s true, nothing major comes easy. Take a leap of faith, find your footing in unchartered terrain, swim in murky waters; eventually the tears will dry, I guarantee you that much.

 ~Kibali~

Allow the pen (part one)

Dear beloved, life will throw you under the bus because it can, things will end, doors will close, people will walk away, leave you, or die. Grieve, deal, live. Whatever season you're in, it shall pass, because everything is everything. Make hay while the sun shines because remember, during a hot day, water evaporates, and rain clouds are formed. Seasons change but they are seasons nonetheless.

Follow your bliss, but remember to sway and bend with the wind so you don't get uprooted. And yes, be rooted, firmly, let your vision so shine that it illuminates away the dark energy people try to smother your mind with. When something ends, accept the grace provided to deal with the loss, shed every tear that wants to fall but remember time and tide waits for no man. Grieve, sieve, live. Keep the lessons, not the pain.

Allow no one to break you unless it's for your good. Don't hold on to broken chords, if it's over let go, take stock and move forward, by moving you whisper to the universe that you may have emerged bloody but unbowed. And life loves its warriors, so keep moving, or stand still to catch your breath but never ever retrogress. NEVER. If a chapter comes to a close, flip the page, allow the pen to be the pen, your story never truly ends.

Kibali

THE CAR LOAD

Envisage an energy packed rugby weekend, and hordes of fans which means adrenaline, sweat, maybe even “blood” and tears. So what next afterwards? How about an after party at the serene Rhino Camp? Located on plush grounds in Nakuru, we as Black Hammock are giving you the opportunity to usher in September, with pomp and style with your friends.

          DR!NK TR!PLE; SEE DOUBLE; ACT S!INGLE!!!!

DATE: 1^st -2^nd September 2012

TICKETS: Ksh 999 (Advance) PER CAR- max of 6 people: Valid Till 29th August Midnight!!
Ksh 1499 (Gate) PER CAR- max of 6 people, Ksh 250 for an extra passenger in the car

Party Bus Revellers: Ksh 250 per person. (Call +254 725 157 834)

Tickets available at our Museum Hill Offices, 7^th Floor-Purshottam Place, Westlands Road and Chronicles Media, 7^th Floor -Maendeleo House, Monrovia Street or call the lines below for delivery.

RSVP
+254203601613
+254724806212
+254786806212

PERKS: Full night admission to Rhino Campsite, EDM & rock music, fun galore; we’ve even thrown in a bonfire! On site will be a cash bar, massage parlour (500Ksh - 2,000 Ksh), tattoo parlour (temporary and permanent tattoos), board and party games all at reasonable rates!!!!

Whilst you can bring your own drinks and food, we will have the Hammock Pub, Black Bar and Rhino Bites food court where you can purchase food and refreshments.

Available:      Kilo of Mbuzi at 500kshs

Food: Mishkaki, Burgers, Hotdogs, Fries, Samosas, Ugali, Rice, Roasted   Potatoes, Chicken, Smokie buns, Choma sausage, Eggs, Fruit skewers, etc

                       Shots from 80 kshs, Mzinga from 500 Kshs,

                       Sheesha: 700 Ksh per bong, per Car load (6 peeps) for 30 minutes.

                       Beers: Unbelievably affordable!!!

CAMPING (Tent City Camp)

Camping: 500 Ksh to cater for a tent, mattress, and a blanket; a sleeping bag is 180 Ksh.

Face book Event Link: http://www.facebook.com/events/155799087877658/

Twitter: @blackhammock_ke

Powered by: BlackHammock in partnership with Campus Chronicles, Rhino Camp, Split Creations, Kwemz Tattoos, Trevor Salon, Sandy Caterers and Bakers, Patas Entertainment!!!

Coelacanth

This month,

I promise myself I shall move earth,

My name shall be etched in the books of history,

This month,

I promise to give self-doubt a wide berth,

And unlock the greatness inside of me; my mystery.

Different frame of mind,

Last month's hurdles left behind,

I'm on that new grind,

To failure I'm blind,

No more replay or rewind,

I'm breaking the fetters that bind,

Until satisfaction I find,

To failure I'm blind.

This month,

I promise not to focus on dearth,

But on possibilities,

This month,

I promise to spare myself the wrath,

Of unspoken realities,

I promise to breathe, I promise to dance,

I promise not to seethe, in retrospect but seize every chance.

Different frame of mind, 

Last month's heartbreaks left behind,

I'm on that new grind; to failure I'm blind,

No more replay or rewind,

I'm breaking the fetters that bind,

Until satisfaction I find, to failure I'm blind.........

Though success has be rare like a Coelacanth, I shall go harder this month, I shall go harder this month, till I find my Coelacanth

Kibali

Kibali

Days such as this,
The song inside so stirs me,
And the melody that fills my heart with bliss,
Awakens me with singing,
And my lips can't contain it,
It's an ode to purpose and my heart beats for it,
It's the sound of life calling me,
Because He poured lavishly...

Kibali Kibali, 
Kanimiminia Jalali, 
Kanihakikishia halali, 
Hadi niwe jabali.

How I remember,
the tears I shed like a stream,
as I watched every ember,
of my impossible dream,
get extinguished,
'Its done' fear whisphered incessantly,
in pain I languished,
but He re-established me.

And my lips can't contain it,
its my ode to purpose and my heart beats for it,
it's the sound of life calling me,
because He poured lavishly...

Kibali Kibali, 
Kanimiminia Jalali, 
Kanihakikisha halali, 
Hadi niwe jabali. 

So this song, shall know no silencing,
It will keep me dancing, till my heart stops beating, o

Oh this song, it shall keep ringing,


My soul singing, and my voice resounding.


PS: Kibali means favour, Jalali means God, Jabali means rock. For those who won't understand the refrain :-)

Usodai

Kila safari ina mwisho,

Hata upawe ngapi vitisho,

Ufuoni hutoki bila kivukisho,

Tia maanani hamasisho,

Si kosa kumbeleza

Ila ukiamua wewe kunipeza,

Ni kibarua ushateleza,

Nami sasa nakueleza.

Sirai na sijidai,

Wala sina wakti wa kukanusha yako madai,

Moyo ukikinai,

Kinacho salia ni usodai'

Mengi yamesemwa  

Ila  mnazi sharti kugemwa,

Mate kwangu yametemwa,

Kisha washtushwa na zangu memwa (memoir),

Nimefunzwa na dunia,

Hatimaye ni vyema kughairi nia,

Swahiba wali kwa sinia,

Jua kwangu ukaidi hutonimiminia.

Sirai na sijidai,

Wala sina wakti wa kukanusha yako madai,

Moyo ukikinai,

Kinacho salia ni usodai

Uvumilivu huisha, wazuri hujatisha,

Kwako tena sitobisha, ndio hali ya maisha,

Subra imekwisha, ishu zetu nimesitisha,

Nlikudhamini ukanidhalilisha, ila shakuvua taji nlokuvisha.

PS:

Usodai (ukaidi) means arrogance, or pride based on context. While this piece uses a love relationship gone sour as its premise, every shade of skewed relationships applies. "When love (patience etc runs out and I can't stand your bulls**t anymore), arrogance takes over." No need to esteem them that treat you with disdain.

#ripamina

Been up since 2 am pondering, reminiscing but thats not why I decided to write this. Naturally when my 'insomnia' kicks in, I log in to facebook and twitter. For the people who are twitter diehards, y'all know that trending topics or TT's are twitter's way of social clicktivism (a portmanteau~ click +activism) 

Today enpassant, I came across an article Aljazeera English posted, about Amina, a 16 year old Moroccan girl brutally raped, then forced to marry her attacker. 

Article 475 of Morocco's law basically states that if you defile a female under the age of 18, you are exempted from serving a jail term if you consequently marry your victim! Hows twisted is that? Repulsive, repugnant are adjectives that dont do that law just description! 

Thus Amina, forced by a cruel archaic and patriachal system that seeks to protect the family honour and male sacrilege, was through her father's consent pawned away. She ingested poison and her 'husband's' way of reviving her was raining kicks and blows on her frail, lifeless body as she was 'ferried' back from whence she came. Why people dont demand a legislative overhaul of such archaic laws confounds me. 

16. At 16 I was barely ready to be a teen, constantly battling acne that peer pressure paled in comparison! At 16, she was no longer her father's daughter, but an object of shame, to be discarded at whatever cost. Im so sad. Why must this be condoned? 

Rest in peace Amina.

PS: Wrote this on March 14th 2012.

Happy birthday to me

I've made it through; been a year so tempestuous, so tumultuous, so terrifying. Left my job, left uni, moved houses, and left Mombasa to chase dreams that felt like unpalpable shadows. I lost friendz, lost peace of mind, lost joy, lost relevance...was embraced by despondency but God Kept me. 

It's been darn difficult, most days I don't believe it, it seems so surreal. But Ive been carried, through every storm i have been secure, and though opportunities have tarried, of that Im sure. Im thankful for where I am today, Im much closer to living the dream life I conjured up in my head. 

I'm officially a singer in a band, as well as an aspiring writer, I'm on my way...may not have a conventional job or money to boot but it is well...may God bless 2012, Im gonna recover...thank you Lord you for that Grace that keepeth me and supplieth freely, when every door seems shut, and every scar's a reminder of many deep a cut, thank you for letting me see, how a seed sprouts to be a tree...

HBD Mwangi

PS: Wrote this on 21st March :)

Morning Monologues

Some days I wake up before the proverbial 'crack of dawn' &have an honest chat with either myself or a 'representation' of someone I crave candid communication with. Candour requires bluntness which I totally lack. Today however, after my weekly 'therapy session', I came to some corny conclusions: I'm black and white; I either totally amaze or totally disappoint, never grey.

I'm either really up or really down, im either likeable or down right hate inducing. When I meet a cool person, I want them to be a part of my life so it rubs off. 

Yesterday I went for an audition and I was called emotionless (callous, stoic)...Ironically I'm quite emotional, I just don't fake it or open up unless I feel safe enough to. One thing though, Ive gotten better at handling rejection & the many a crisis in my life. Oh yeah, I also love closure; being unsure of where I stand with someone on any issue sucks. That's me, the kawaa dude that 'rarely impresses', unless you look at my potential. 

Your choice.

The journey I'm on.

As iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another. Being around skilled people I have found is 'silent' apprenticeship; you absorb and grow exponentially and are stirred to be phenomenal. 

The life lessons you accrue concerning self expression, courage and being true allow you to tether yourself to a place devoid of inhibitions. I have made it my life's ambition to be careful about who I tap into as a creative. I want to be around people oozing positive energy, socially conscious wights who understand that words, music, actions have a ripple effect. 

Thus lately Im taking every opportunity to meet and 'sit at the feet' of people I consider awesome. I seek growth. I seek synergy because while one can chase a thousand, two can chase ten thousand. A caveat of sorts, 'your network determines your networth' is another determinant. I wanna be around dreamerz, and vision bearers cum midwives. I want to be phenomenal, and that is the journey I'm on.

Imovedon.com

I haven't thought of you in a while,
And I'm glad you walked away, 
I was tired of the many a mile, 
I'd go to make you stay, 
I haven't missed you at all, 
I even forgot what you sound like, 
I'm glad you let me fall, 
out of like with just one strike, 


Oh there's no greater feeling than that of freedom, 
Knowing that your heart is free from 'martyrdom'...
Than getting over you teacup storm, 
And returning to my kingdom, 
Imovedon.com. 


I'm glad this madness is over, 
Look at what I put myself through, 
Wondering if I'd have to hover, 
Just so I'd keep you, 
You noticed I stopped calling, 
I'm amazed I deleted your number, 
I admit there was some stalling, 
Because of the few good times I'd remember, 


But oh there's no greater feeling than that of freedom, 
Knowing that your heart is free from 'martyrdom'...
Than getting over you teacup storm, 
And returning to my kingdom, Imovedon.com. 


I'd have taken you back in a heartbeat, 
But thank you for shutting me out, 
They don't have a tourniquet, 
For a heart that's worn out. 
I'd have taken you back, 
If me you'd meet, 
Halfway koz for that I have a knack,
But thankfully I'm over it.

Seasons will see to it.

My best is yet to come, 

I can't wait to become,

Like fine wine get better with age, 

And glorious be the latter showcase for my life's stage, 

My best is yet to come, 

My best chordz I'm yet to strum, 

As goes the old adage, 

The mighty oak was once a seed said the sage.

 'So I await to manifest, 

Watching every test bring out my best, 

Time sees the eagle build a nest, 

And seasons see to it that even winter has rest.' 

May have taken long, Yes It's tarried, 

Many ask what I did wrong, Even my folks are worried, 

But I sing the same song, Let your fears remain buried, 

To the future I belong, To my moment I shall be carried.

I lack an answer for why my journey differs, 

Or why my dream constantly suffers,

But I know for sure I'll have offers,

When the time is right for my works they'll empty their coffers. 

'So I await to manifest, 

And watch every test bring out my best, 

Time sees the eagle build a nest, 

And seasons see to it that even winter has rest' 

And So seasons will see to it That I get my chance, 

Won't throw a fit, I'll endure every circumstance, 

Won't accept defeat, I won't change my stance, 

Seasons will see to it, that favour upon me casts its glance, and grants me that dance. 

Rain, Vapour, Ice.

Observe water,
It takes any form, 
To change it won't falter,
It knows when to transform,
It can be a gentle stream or splatter, 
It can be a storm, 
No matter the chapter, 
It knows change belies excellence's norm.


'Determine your price, 
By letting your journey towards excellence be your sacrifice, 
If you allow what you've achieved to suffice, 
you'll remain water, when you be rain, vapour, ice.' 


Practice practice grow, 
You learn to do by doing, 
Study, into the throes of knowledge burrow, 
Its the secret to conquering, 
To eat through a rock water must flow, 
There's no room for stagnating, 
Work on you your boat row, 
You'll not regret what you're becoming. 


'Determine your price, 
By letting your journey towardz excellence be your sacrifice, 
If you allow what you've achieved to suffice, 
You'll remain water when you can be rain, vapour, rain, ice. 


Challenge your ability, there are no boundz to what you can achieve, 
Let your self be a repository, of quality so quality you can give, 
Make excellence your identity, to slacken or grow is your prerogative, 
And you'll realize superiority, from you is easy to retrieve.

Free utterly

when your mind is unclouded, and your heart is free,
when in pain no longer shrouded, there is a flourishing of creativity,
when your soul is soaring, beyond vanity,
you hear the roaring of your identity.

In that constant you are king,
memories distant you start to sing,
bells chime far away but you hear them ring,
that's just the way sweet melodies you bring...

so let yourself be free, emancipate yourself completely, 
allow yourself to be, utterly, totally, against unnecessary mental malleability. 

See this heart wasn't meant to be bound,
shackle me and I'm no longer on steady ground,
being unrestrained i have found, is the only I'm able to release my sound,
when there's freedom all around,
there's no longer regurgitation of a memorized mound,
of someone else's opinions that seek to pound, me to a conformed callous hedged hound...

oh in that constant I am king,
memories distant I start to sing,
bells chime far away but I hear them ring,
that's just the way sweet melodies I bring....

so let yourself be free, emancipate yourself completely, 
allow yourself to be, utterly, totally, against unnecessary mental malleability