I hate this place I'm at

Woke up today and realized something's gotta give,
because it's evident I've forgotten to live,
much more is required when plenty you receive,
and my heart I can no longer deceive,
I'm clearly in need of reprieve when memories expunged I constantly try to retrieve...

I'm craving mercy but they think I'm foolish,
I'm craving love but they think I'm selfish,
I'm craving purpose but they think I should relish,
attention that's fleeting and praises that diminish.......

I am not wrong for wanting more,
Even the sea wanders and comes back to the shore,
I am not crazy for wanting a door,
To open wide and take me to the happy place I inhabited before......
my soul needs healing, my heart lacks feeling,
my layers and mask need peeling, before I'm brought to the place of kneeling,
I hate this place I'm at, my life burned to ashes and at the hearth I sat,
Now I have become depression's doormat, when I promised myself I'm done with that,
I hate this place I'm at.

Kibali