Until that day comes

Many times when I reminisce about my past, the one common thread that seems to pop up is fear. For some reason, fear seems to have been the commonality that is pervasive in every sphere of my life. And as I age, I seem to find that that fear grows in leaps and bounds and can be terrifying, nay crippling at times, if not nipped in the bud.
I am slowing learning that in order to starve my fear; I have to feed my faith. But for some reason, my fear’s appetite is voracious to say the least, and I give in to binging one too may times, then wonder why I cant step up to the challenge when “big” opportunities present themselves. But it does help to remind myself that fear is actually the acronym f.e.a.r, false evidence appearing real.

So a couple of weeks ago, someone updated their Facebook status with the lyrics to Natasha Bedingfileld’s masterpiece “unwritten”. The song in a nutshell, basically reiterates the mantra that today is the first of the rest of your life, that this is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten.
I started to ponder on those words, and slowly by slowly they became alive to me. I had sung that song myriad times, but had never really paid attention to it. I guess I was too pre-occupied with hitting those notes correctly that the message literally got lost in translation. Well that day, I had a wake up call, it’s as if I was destined to find these words again, and they have become a beacon of sorts to me, a lighthouse in the stormy seas of life raging.

I am learning what it means to yield to the now, appreciating that in as much as its fantastic and more so imperative that I take stock of my past mistakes and missteps, if I don’t take them as lessons learned as opposed to me burned, then I miss the whole point of a test being the fountain of the river aptly named testimony.
Appreciating everyday as it comes is no child’s play. This world seeks to cumber us with worries that make us pray for alleviation as opposed to bigger shoulders. But every test that comes, it comes to prepare us. And everyday is a silent reminder that we can be strong, hold on, breathe again. Yes, I just quoted one of my favorite male artistes, Kanji.

So today, and everyday, I wanna say when I wake up, that yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is unknown, but today, I shant be forlorn. Whatever is good, whatever is lovely, whatever is pure, I want to meditate on those things. I’m choosing to believe that what has bypassed my hands was not meant for me, and that whoever left, was not meant to stay. I am choosing to believe that greater things are yet to come, that the potential inside of me is gold that shall one day bring me before kings and great men.
Consequently, I am choosing not to dwell on the past, but to channel my energies into growth. I want to grow, I want to be the piece de resistance that once unveiled leaves all and sundry gazing at it’s beauty, dazzled. I have made a choice to better my “talents’, be they writing, singing, speaking. I have come to the realization that while I may pale in comparison to the talents of the greats of this world, there many others who can’t hold a candle to me.

And such is life; there are giants and ants, humans and mountains. While ants may cower at the sight of humans, their bite causes discomfort. And while giants strike terror into the hearts of men, mountains laugh in jest should giants challenge them to a duel. But the one that towers majestically above them all is the sky.
While my analogy may seem a little farfetched, it is laden with life lessons worth amassing. Do not compare yourself and become despondent, but let your “giants” be the barometers by which you measure your progress. You will in due time realize that you have enough skill and experience (tajriba) to slay these giants, that is the beauty of life.

Enough with waxing lyrical, I hope that this note makes your brave hearts rise to the occasion. Every battle is just that. Many battles may be lost but it’s the war that you must focus on. Collect your “ammunition”, get artillery, strengthen your cavalry. In essence what I’m saying is, embrace everyday, as a chance to know more, learn more, be more. Haba na haba hujaza kibaba, so goes the old adage. Be not afraid, your time will come. Though it tarries, it will surely come.

Kibali