The
driver wonders if the chill has gotten to me,
As
I blow my nose and say my sinuses have “run amok”,
I
look outside and close the window gently,
I wipe it to see your silhouette, with his, and inwardly I choke,
You
seem lost in the moment,
You
seem oblivious to the downpour,
Here
I am; my mood dismal, drowning in my torment,
Stuck
in this Nairobi gridlock, gutted, dejected, sore
****************************************************
It
was yesterday, I saw you as the rained poured furiously,
I
was engrossed in my own thoughts, but somehow my eyes beheld you & I gawked
surreptiously,
It
was near Yaya, you were talking animatedly,
I
was ensconced in that Easy taxi, clutching the seatbelt, dying silently.
Is
he the one you said you would never look at?
Cause* you promised me his texts were innocuous, at that Java chat.
Now
here we are, miles and distance interwoven like a mat,
Part
of our tapestry; now a torn relic, discarded like a dead cat,
My soul is now a war-zone, my heart "a city decimated by Jihad",
Never
thought seeing you happy would make me bleed this bad,
I
wish I wasn’t angry but your memory makes me so mad,
Like
the churning in my system is magma and not blood!
Maybe
I should be glad,
That you saved me from bondage, but
I'm just a livid lad,
That
I could never mirror your dad,
That
I’ll never be the best you ever had….
It
feels almost silly now, admitting all this,
Just
the other day I was preaching like a new proselyte about eternal bliss,
Not
once did I suspect something was amiss,
Not
even when you cancelled Valentines dinner for your sis.
Now
I see how calculating you were,
The
way you used me to get this far,
A
friend I let go of, you were smitten by like Magi with Bethlehem’s star,
Oh
the vengeance inside makes my mirth black like tar
I
hated loving you so much that all else became vanity,
Blindly
I drank, and got intoxicated by the sweet nectar
I
was mesmerized so much by your entity,
Our
soundtrack was Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car,
Now
all I see is your shadow and silhouette,
A
mirage in the desert, sarabi jangwani, mazigazi,
No more will I allow life, love's appetite to whet,
I
am done being fettered with emotions that drive me crazy!
Kibali
Image: Wiki Commons
Caveat: This was written as part of the Sanaa Book Club Challenge "A Taxi, an old friend and Valentine's day"