Silhouette

The driver wonders if the chill has gotten to me,

As I blow my nose and say my sinuses have “run amok”,

I look outside and close the window gently,

I wipe it to see your silhouette, with his, and inwardly I choke,

You seem lost in the moment,

You seem oblivious to the downpour,

Here I am; my mood dismal, drowning in my torment,

Stuck in this Nairobi gridlock, gutted, dejected, sore

****************************************************

It was yesterday, I saw you as the rained poured furiously,

I was engrossed in my own thoughts, but somehow my eyes beheld you & I gawked surreptiously,

It was near Yaya, you were talking animatedly,

I was ensconced in that Easy taxi, clutching the seatbelt, dying silently.

Is he the one you said you would never look at?

Cause* you promised me his texts were innocuous, at that Java chat.

Now here we are, miles and distance interwoven like a mat,

Part of our tapestry; now a torn relic, discarded like a dead cat,

My soul is now a war-zone, my heart "a city decimated by Jihad",

Never thought seeing you happy would make me bleed this bad,

I wish I wasn’t angry but your memory makes me so mad,

Like the churning in my system is magma and not blood!

Maybe I should be glad,

That you saved me from bondage, but I'm just a livid lad,

That I could never mirror your dad,

That I’ll never be the best you ever had….

It feels almost silly now, admitting all this,

Just the other day I was preaching like a new proselyte about eternal bliss,

Not once did I suspect something was amiss,

Not even when you cancelled Valentines dinner for your sis.

Now I see how calculating you were,

The way you used me to get this far,

A friend I let go of, you were smitten by like Magi with Bethlehem’s star,

Oh the vengeance inside makes my mirth black like tar

I hated loving you so much that all else became vanity,

Blindly I drank, and got intoxicated by the sweet nectar

I was mesmerized so much by your entity,

Our soundtrack was Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car,

Now all I see is your shadow and silhouette,

A mirage in the desert, sarabi jangwani, mazigazi,

No more will I allow life, love's appetite to whet,

I am done being fettered with emotions that drive me crazy!

Kibali

Image: Wiki Commons

Caveat: This was written as part of the Sanaa Book Club Challenge "A Taxi, an old friend and Valentine's day"