Choose

I’m a sucker for quotes, I hate to admit it. I am addicted to Berlin Art-Parasites and other similar Facebook pages because quotes that resonate with the truth I am feeding myself right now are necessary for me to grasp the transcendent, the inimitable.

I now naturally gravitate towards “truth” that mirrors or stirs up a visceral “understanding” in my soul. Being a big believer in one’s reality expanding according to one’s thoughts, I have become a conscious connoisseur of “knowledge.” I haggle with life was I make my way through the murky waters of wisdom, in search for that knowledge fountain that will quicken my metamorphosis.  

Today morning, I came across a saying by Eckhart Tolle, “if peace is what you want then you will choose peace.” As I read that, it dawned on me that everything we want for ourselves, we have to choose consciously. Because as it is said, thoughts become words that become actions that become our reality.

As I child, I remember this verse were taught in school about Jehovah placing before the Jews life and death, and asking them to choose life so that they may live. It always baffled me. So for one to live, one had to choose life? What about the ones that died yet desperately clung on to life till the last sand particle hit the hour-glass?

But now I am starting to grasp this precarious truth: conscious choice determines reality.

I have become very aware about the thoughts I think towards myself. I try my best to interrogate every single one, trying to decipher the motive and intent, its source.

I am no longer letting my “knee-jerk” thoughts ride roughshod over my mind, nachukua usukani (I am taking charge of my ship’s rudder.)

I have realized that the words that stir up in me are a clear reflection of what is going on inside me. These words give a clear picture of what I am feeling even my conscious self is too distracted to understand.

Lately I have been very angry because I have been let down by people I thought would stand at the watchtower for me. Being disappointed by the world is one thing, but being stabbed by people you considered soldiers in your quest for life is a crucible-hot mess.

So for me to see a quote like that by Eckhart Tolle, it stopped me right in my tracks. I evaluated every word the way a wine taster swirls every drop in their mouth after carefully smelling the wine and inhaling its essence.

I closed my eyes and let the words paint a melody so loud it reverberated in my being. The echoes, they brought truth to me as the rain gently pounded the trees outside. I have to choose the life I want for it to manifest.

Conscious choice, conscious actions; easier said than done. Being aware however is the first step. I am aware that I can not affect gravity, but I can slowly but surely determine the energy I let seep into my camp and the vibrations I put out.

I may not control people’s actions but I can control how I let them make me react even when every fiber of my being wants to give in to hate and basic behavior. Because choice is power, privilege, potency.

I remind myself every-time I start to expect an avalanche of bad news, that my story is neither cast in stone nor the ink drawn from the veins of men. I tell myself loudly if I must that to be afraid is one thing, but to expect a parlous outcome is unacceptable. So I slowly triumph over my fear, and every small victory sets me on the course to be the very giant I thought I’d never be.

Choose peace; choose prosperity; not just physical wealth but a thriving of the mind and soul. Choose to expand your life through pure thoughts, intent and actions. Choose to walk away from what seeks to destroy you because even destruction comes cloaked as freedom when it I just temptation.

I have chosen the growth that comes without annihilating anything in its path except mediocrity and ego. I want the best, but I want it the right way. I want to close my eyes when my race is over and not be afraid of that hell and brimstone furnace every preacher worth their tithe shouts from the mountaintops.

So I choose, and I choose deliberately and strongly. I choose peace, and I choose prosperity, because the words you speak become the house you live in, said Tabriz.

May my house be a palace inundated with joy, bursting at the seams with health. Choose. Choose.