Monday 10 November 2014

Silhouette

The driver wonders if the chill has gotten to me,
As I blow my nose and say my sinuses have “run amok”,
I look outside and close the window gently,
I wipe it to see your silhouette, with his, and inwardly I choke,
You seem lost in the moment,
You seem oblivious to the downpour,
Here I am; my mood dismal, drowning in my torment,
Stuck in this Nairobi gridlock, gutted, dejected, sore

****************************************************
It was yesterday, I saw you as the rained poured furiously,
I was engrossed in my own thoughts, but somehow my eyes beheld you & I gawked surreptiously,
It was near Yaya, you were talking animatedly,
I was ensconced in that Easy taxi, clutching the seatbelt, dying silently.
Is he the one you said you would never look at?
Cause* you promised me his texts were innocuous, at that Java chat.
Now here we are, miles and distance interwoven like a mat,
Part of our tapestry; now a torn relic, discarded like a dead cat,



My soul is now a war-zone, my heart "a city decimated by Jihad",
Never thought seeing you happy would make me bleed this bad,
I wish I wasn’t angry but your memory makes me so mad,
Like the churning in my system is magma and not blood!
Maybe I should be glad,
That you saved me from bondage, but I'm just a livid lad,
That I could never mirror your dad,
That I’ll never be the best you ever had….

It feels almost silly now, admitting all this,
Just the other day I was preaching like a new proselyte about eternal bliss,
Not once did I suspect something was amiss,
Not even when you cancelled Valentines dinner for your sis.
Now I see how calculating you were,
The way you used me to get this far,
A friend I let go of, you were smitten by like Magi with Bethlehem’s star,
Oh the vengeance inside makes my mirth black like tar

I hated loving you so much that all else became vanity,
Blindly I drank, and got intoxicated by the sweet nectar
I was mesmerized so much by your entity,
Our soundtrack was Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car,
Now all I see is your shadow and silhouette,
A mirage in the desert, sarabi jangwani, mazigazi,
No more will I allow life, love's appetite to whet,
I am done being fettered with emotions that drive me crazy!


Kibali

Image: Wiki Commons

Caveat: This was written as part of the Sanaa Book Club Challenge "A Taxi, an old friend and Valentine's day"